


two hundred and eighty

by stevenstamkos



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Hockey Player(s), Anonymous Narrator, Epistolary, M/M, Meddling, POV Outsider, Social Media, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 18:32:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15153119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevenstamkos/pseuds/stevenstamkos
Summary: Get Nolan a Date 2k18@motormouth17 · 19 June 2018Holy shit guys did not expect to go viral with this series of tweets about the gays in love at my local skating rink. Does this mean I have clout now? Does it mean it's my duty to make sure that Hick Nolan asks out Swiss Dreamboat Nico?





	two hundred and eighty

**Author's Note:**

> I love those tweet threads where people discuss things they see/overhear in their day-to-day lives, and we as onlookers get super invested in what's going on. I love that it's often less about the tweeter themself and more about the story they're telling.
> 
> Also I use twitter too much.
> 
> Title from the fact that there are 280 characters in a tweet. I'm thankful I'm not writing this in the 140 era because the length would've doubled just from having to retype the dn and @ so many times.

**#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 6 June 2018

At the rink to drop off my little cousin for her first skating lesson and there’s this HICK next to me?? He’s wearing camo pants…….in the rink……..in the summer……..Bud wyd lol

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 6 June 2018

Picked up little cousin after her lesson. The skating coach is apparently the best thing that's ever happened to her. I’m hurt ngl I thought I was the best thing that ever happened to her (Crying Face )

 

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 13 June 2018

Gonna stick around to watch the lesson today. Icb my cousin is gonna outskate me by the end of the summer. She’ll be a proper NHL player (Flexed Biceps )

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 13 June 2018

Hick is back. Doesn’t look like a hick anymore tho….just looks like a fuckboy now. It’s summer he’s got his snapback on backwards and it’s time to fucking take up all the space in front of the glass so no one else can see the skaters I guess?

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 13 June 2018

MY LITTLE COUSIN JUST WAVED AT HIM WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 13 June 2018

Few of you asked if Fuckboy Hick waved back……...He did (Unamused Face ) And then Coach McDreamy smiled at him. One of the parents told me Fuckboy Hick stays here the whole time every day? Like watching the kids skate. Dude that sounds sketch

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 13 June 2018

Little cousin is officially in love with Coach McDreamy and his Swedish accent alright. Should I tell her he’s like 12 years older than her or nah

 

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 15 June 2018

No chauffeur duty today! Going to hang out with my boy (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes )(Revolving Hearts )

 

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 16 June 2018

Fuckboy Hick is actually pretty alright once you get used to him. Maybe he just likes watching the kids skate who knows. He gave the kids high fives when they came off the ice and that’s the only reason I’m cool with him

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 16 June 2018

WAIT OHHHH MY GOD HE JUST MADE EYE CONTACT WITH COACH MCDREAMY AND TURNED SUPER RED. WAS THAT A BLUSH FUCKBOY HICK?????? (Eyes )(Eyes )(Eyes )(Eyes )(Eyes )(Eyes )

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 16 June 2018

HE JUST LEFT??? COACH MCDREAMY WAS STILL ON THE ICE WITH SOME KIDS AND FUCKBOY HICK JUST LEFT? JUST GRABBED THIS LITTLE GIRL AND RAN OUT OF THERE?? what’s going on

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 16 June 2018

Omg one of the parents just talked to me for like 15 min listen I’m sorry I’m sorry but idc about how your son is friends with my little cousin (yes I do) but I’m trying to see what’s going on with my buddy

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 16 June 2018

He’s gone (Crying Face ) Think he went home. Come back Fuckboy Hick, you have more depth to you than I realized

 

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 17 June 2018

Sticking around for skating lesson again…...Fuckboy Hick is sitting three seats over in the stands and he’s been on the phone for a while. Not looking at Coach McDreamy but Coach McDreamy keeps looking over at us?

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 17 June 2018

JUST OVERHEARD HIM ON THE PHONE HE SAID “I CAN’T JUST TALK TO HIM HE’S REALLY HOT” I’M SCREAMING GUYS FUCKBOY HICK IS GAY (Fire )(Fire )

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 17 June 2018

I’m SHAKING hold on gonna text my bf he owes me $20. Man I’m so glad that Fuckboy Hick is gay

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 17 June 2018

Omg he just introduced himself to Coach McDreamy and said he’s here for his niece who’s in McDreamy’s class.......Fuckboy Hick's name is Nolan btw. You go Nolan get that Swedish Dick

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 17 June 2018

Awwww Coach McDreamy’s name is Nico! He’s cute ngl, has really amazing hair that he keeps brushing out of his face. I get why my cousin and Nolan are gagging over him. Don’t tell my boyfriend

 

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 18 June 2018

Update skating coach is Swiss not Swedish. My little cousin is a Liar. Or maybe she’s just bad at geography cause she’s 8 haha

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 18 June 2018

Just saw what the Swiss flag looks like. Told my bf it looks like a first aid sign which is really funny bc Hick Nolan looks like he needs first aid every time he looks at Nico. Bf told me to be nice but he still laughed (Monkey )

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 18 June 2018

Maybe Coach McDreamy can give Nolan some mouth to mouth

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 18 June 2018

Dude Nolan just tried to ask him out I think. Idk he's not really good at it. He just like rambled about how much his niece appreciates Nico and I’m like dude tell him how much YOU appreciate him, duh??

 

 **#1 Tyler Johnson Fan** @motormouth17 · 18 June 2018

Bro he needs my help (Skull )(Skull )

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 18 June 2018

New display name……..#solidarity bro (Fisted Hand Sign ≊ Oncoming Fist)

 

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 19 June 2018

Holy shit guys did not expect to go viral with this series of tweets about the gays in love at my local skating rink. Does this mean I have clout now? Does it mean it's my duty to make sure that Hick Nolan asks out Swiss Dreamboat Nico?

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 19 June 2018

I don’t have a soundcloud link to drop (Face With Tears Of Joy ) But here’s a pic of my boyfriend of 2 years, go tell him he’s the most amazing and perfect person in the world (See-No-Evil Monkey )(Blue Heart ) https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DhKamheU8AAOyDy.jpg

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 19 June 2018

Okay guys voting time. What should I do

  * Approach McDreamy Nico
  * Approach Hick Nolan
  * Get Nolan’s niece to take one for the team
  * Set up a blind date



 

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 22 June 2018

K looks like set up a blind date narrowly wins but I have no clue how to do that fuck. Uhhhh my bf is the one who’s good at setting up dates I’ll ask him after I pick up my cousin today

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 22 June 2018

Didn’t get a chance to ask my bf cause my little cousin asked me if she could HAVE NOLAN AND HIS NIECE OVER TODAY??? (Eyes )(Eyes ) For like a post-skate playdate I guess. Omg fuckk this is the best thing to happen to me today I love my cousin

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 22 June 2018

Tweets on hold we’re having a tea party

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 22 June 2018

Sneaking on during tea party to say that 1) Nolan is funny af and 2) he sticks his pinky up when he’s drinking his fake tea and I took a pic which I hope I can send to Nico soon or something

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 22 June 2018

Tea party over and me and Nolan are watching the girls rollerblading down the street. Nolan keeps checking his phone. Okay I’m gonna talk to him wish me luck (Flexed Biceps )

 

 **Get Nolan a Date 2k18** @motormouth17 · 22 June 2018

Holy shit……...sorry guys I had to call my bf and scream about everything that happened. Details coming tomorrow bc I’m wiped but basically I talked to Nolan and we didn’t get to the part where I tell him to ask Nico out but what I did learn is that the boy is WHIPPED

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 23 June 2018

Alright I’m in the stands right now watching the skating lesson. Nolan’s back at the glass making heart eyes at Nico or whatever. Anyway thread coming about what happened yesterday when we got down to talking

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 23 June 2018

So we just start shooting the shit with small talk, like Nolan is 21 and he’s from Winnipeg blah blah blah and then we talked about our cousin/niece and I got the convo to Hot Dreamy Skating Coach Nico

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 23 June 2018

Nolan starts blushing right away?? which was cute and he kept touching his hair and I’m like !!! that’s adorable but you’re not trying to impress ME bc I’m taken!!! Do that around HIM!!!

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 23 June 2018

It took some work but I got Nolan to admit that Nico is “kinda cute” and that he wasn’t originally gonna stick around to watch the lessons but he loved watching Nico move on the ice (Weary Face )(Weary Face ) That shit is so romantic

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 23 June 2018

And then we spent the rest of the day just chilling and Nolan spent like 5 hours?? talking about Nico. Idk if he knew how obvious he was bc he clearly doesn’t want anyone to know about his crush, but it was so cute. Heart eyes x1000

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 23 June 2018

That’s all that happened yesterday but guys you gotta understand he talked about Nico SO MUCH………..he’s so in love. I GOTTA help him. Okay end thread

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 23 June 2018

Like 20 people DMed me about what Operation Wheat King is…….It’s Get Nolan a Date 2k18 but more official! Wheat King because Nolan is like…..idk man he reminds me of Wonderbread? sgkjsngkjng I mean it in the best way tho

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 24 June 2018

REALLY IMPORTANT UPDATE I talked to Nico today!!! He sort of implied during our convo that Nolan is his favorite “parent” omg I’m DEAD he smiled so much when I said that me and Nolan are friends. Also he has dimples

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 25 June 2018

Just dropped off my cousin way early. So I know that Nolan is always like 30 min early prob bc he likes hanging around Nico before the lesson starts SO I told him yesterday I’d grab him a coffee on my way over since we’re friends now

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 25 June 2018

When I got there I gave him his coffee and then told him the barista made it wrong “by accident” so we have this free coffee and since it was HIS coffee the barista mixed up I was giving it to him. Except it’s Nico’s favorite coffee that he mentioned yesterday. I hope Nolan isn’t an idiot

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 25 June 2018

NOLAN IS NOT AN IDIOT HE GAVE THE COFFEE TO NICO AND THEY SPENT HALF AN HOUR CHATTING WHILE WAITING FOR THE OTHER KIDS TO SHOW UP. OPERATION WHEAT KING IS OFF TO A GOOD START!!! (Party Popper )(Party Popper )(Party Popper )

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 24 June 2018

I’m so relieved haha I thought for a sec that Nolan was gonna drink the second coffee (Skull )

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 29 June 2018

Sorry for the lack of updates. Nothing much happened bc Nolan wasn’t here for a couple days :( His niece was sick so he didn’t (have an excuse to) come in :( As soon as he came back today tho he stared at Nico for like 5 straight minutes bye

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 30 June 2018

I’m so excited for tomorrow bc I might have a surprise update for you guys

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 30 June 2018

I have to turn off notifications for this thread omg guys the surprise hasn’t happened yet!!!! (See-No-Evil Monkey ) I’ll let you know when it does (if it does)

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 1 July 2018

Happy Canada Day to my Canadian followers esp my wonderful boyfriend (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes )

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 1 July 2018

Okay sorry I know it’s like super late but!! big story. Two days ago I was talking to Nico while picking up my cousin and I invited him to my bf’s Canada Day barbecue (even tho idk man Canada Day is weak, 4th of July better)

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 1 July 2018

And I got Nico to come since he’s Swiss and he just moved to the U.S. and I was like “Hey if you’re not doing anything it should be fun, you can go to your first Canada Day bbq!” and he said he’d love to and was pretty excited that I invited him

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 1 July 2018

And THEN I turned to Nolan and said all casually like “Oh hey Nolan you’re Canadian right? You should totally come and help my boyfriend celebrate!” And Nico SMILED and said Nolan should come too! Think Nolan died for 30 sec maybe. Red as a tomato

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 1 July 2018

Btw my bf’s house has a POOL and I definitely told them both about it. They both did a bit of swimming since it was hot (Eyes )(Aubergine ≊ Eggplant) Turns out they both do some surfing?? They started talking about it and I left them alone

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 1 July 2018

God I hope they kiss soon

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 1 July 2018

Also hope Nolan buys new swim trunks like who has swim trunks with little trout swimming across them!!!! At least they made Nico laugh. Did I mention he has dimples? RIP Nolan

 

 

 **MURRICA DAY** @motormouth17 · 4 July 2018

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!! My twitter is broken atm but [Eagle Emoji x500]

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 5 July 2018

Back to Operation Wheat King! Think I just bribed a small child

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 5 July 2018

My cousin is pretty good friends with Nolan’s niece right? Like they hold hands for balance when they skate and she’s been over for playdates. Anyway point is she knows me now. I told her I’d buy her whatever she wants for her birthday in September if she does me a favor

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 5 July 2018

So now she’s fussing about how she wants to work on her edges and she asked Nico for like 10 min after every lesson to work on that. Nolan offered to pay for the extra time but Nico said he’d do it for free! True love is the shit!

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 5 July 2018

So now Nolan has all this extra time after every lesson to talk to Nico. All alone. Together (Smiling Face With Horns )

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 13 July 2018

THEY’RE STILL NOT TOGETHER WHY AREN’T THEY TOGETHER. IT’S BEEN LIKE A WEEK SLEJSAKJGNJSNG THESE BOYS ARE USELESS

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 13 July 2018

We gotta do something else. Drastic measures are needed. You can lead a horse to water but sometimes you also gotta slam dunk its face into the water to make it drink

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 13 July 2018

Fuck we really gotta make them stealth date each other huh

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 14 July 2018

Mentioned I wanted to set N&N up on a date and my bf just offered up our reservations? There’s this restaurant we always go to and he made a reservation a month ago but he said if I wanted to I could give it to Nolan and Nico? Why do I have the best boyfriend in the world (Loudly Crying Face )(Loudly Crying Face )(Heart With Ribbon )

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 15 July 2018

Caught up to Nico and Nolan after the lesson today and said that me and my boy and a few friends were getting together at this restaurant on Friday and maybe they wanna come? Just like a “friendly dinner out with friends” (Winking Face ) #TheySaidYes

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 17 July 2018

Lesson went by as normal..........They don't suspect a thing. Until tonight (Person With Folded Hands ≊ Folded Hands)

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 17 July 2018

I’m real nervous oh man I hope Nolan and Nico weren’t too mad when they showed up to the restaurant and got led to a table for two. I told the maître d’ to go all out with flowers and wine and candles and everything

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 17 July 2018

Okay I’m going to Dairy Queen with my bf and we’re gonna stuff ourselves with burgers and blizzards since we gave up our fancy reservations. Pray 4 N&N and their romance

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 17 July 2018

RIP I can’t move, too much fries. Nolan hasn’t texted me, idk if that’s a good or bad thing

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 18 July 2018

Still nothing yet. Gotta wait two more days I think. Monday's the ticket (Disappointed But Relieved Face )(Person With Folded Hands ≊ Folded Hands) Hang in there guys

 

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 20 July 2018

Nico’s late which is weird. He’s never been late before. Like he’s not officially late but he’s usually here 30 min before the lesson starts and class is starting in 5 min?

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 20 July 2018

Wait he just walked in with Nolan and they're so close their arms are touching omg DOES THIS MEAN THEY????

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 20 July 2018

I’M SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT GUYS WHAT DOES THIS MEAN. NOLAN IS CARRYING SKATES TOO? NICO IS SMILING AT HIM?

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 20 July 2018

OMG THEY JUST KISSED HOLY SHIT!!!! THEY KISSED RIGHT IN THE RINK!!

 

 **Operation Wheat King** @motormouth17 · 20 July 2018

We did it guys. Operation Wheat King was a success and love is real (Loudly Crying Face )(Loudly Crying Face ) Our work here is done. What a ride

 

 

 **Nolan + Nico 4Ever** (Revolving Hearts ) @motormouth17 · 21 July 2018

Nolan told me that they got together after the blind date I set them up on. He thanked me for giving him our reservations and I said no problem cause I’m just !!!! They’re TOGETHER NOW!! They had a skate date after yesterday's lesson!!

 

 **Nolan + Nico 4Ever** (Revolving Hearts ) @motormouth17 · 21 July 2018

Got a lot of requests for deets so: Yes they were surprised when they were the only ones who showed up. Yes they were confused for like 15 min when the maître d’ showed them to a table for 2 with the wine and flowers (Face With Tears Of Joy )

 

 **Nolan + Nico 4Ever** (Revolving Hearts ) @motormouth17 · 21 July 2018

But they ran with it and had a nice dinner and then SHARED A DESSERT!!! And then they shared an Uber home ohhhh my god

 

 **Nolan + Nico 4Ever** (Revolving Hearts ) @motormouth17 · 21 July 2018

And when they got to Nolan’s house my man had the balls to ask Nico to come in for a drink! And then they kissed! Romantic as fuck! I’m so happy

 

 **Nolan + Nico 4Ever** (Revolving Hearts ) @motormouth17 · 21 July 2018

I’m so honored to have been a part of this. I wanna thank all my followers who’ve been with me from the start of this adventure. My boyfriend Cody who is the love of my life I love you so much Babe. It's been good (Smiling Face With Smiling Eyes ) Kailer out (Victory Hand )

 

 

(Clockwise Rightwards And Leftwards Open Circle Arrows ≊ Repeat Button) Tyler Johnson Retweeted

 **Matchmaking Genius** @motormouth17 · 26 July 2018

https://www.buzzfeed.com/nicksuzuki_37/teens-viral-tweets-give-best-gay-romance-of-summer

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't do anything with the Buzzfeed link because I totally made it up (journalist Nick Suzuki though!!) HOWEVER kudos to anyone who stopped mid-story to actually look at the twitter pic I linked. I tried to keep it half a secret who the narrator was, but that was a dead giveaway ;)
> 
> Untagged relationship was Kailer Yamamoto/Cody Glass
> 
> I have a writing [tumblr](https://jveleno.tumblr.com) btw

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Two Hundred and Eighty](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18008573) by [Annapods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annapods/pseuds/Annapods)




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